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“Over my dead body” doesn’t mean “no.” It means I get to do what I want and as a bonus I get to kill you.
Calling credit cards "a convenient alternative to cash" is like calling crystal meth a "diet substitute".
what if the princess wants to be with bowser, but mario keeps kidnapping her
Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won´t spoil me.
Do crabs think we walk sideways?
decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
There’s nothing worse than getting $0.99 back in change.
I should come with a warning label.
Touch my food and suffer the consequences.
I`ve always wondered why they don`t have a pregnant Barbie doll? Turns out Ken comes in a different box...
Pandora has taught me that a lot of the music I love is very similar to music I absolutely hate.
Magician: Now I will cut the woman in half. Me: Why turn one problem into two?
mom- "if you dont have anything nice to say, don`t say anything"
How to find the perfect wife: Play monopoly with her. if she chooses the iron, she`s the one.
I wonder how the Never-ending story is doing.