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“I don’t watch tv” proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
All I`m saying is if guys were meant to make them, they`d be call sandWIZARDS.
life is unfair theres 6 days between monday and sunday but only 1 between sunday and monday
The male version of a tramp stamp should be called a douche tag.
I don`t get why he counts the beer before he leaves to work... There`s never any left when he comes home.
4 out of 5 voices in my head think the other voice is a douche.
I hear voices ... and they don`t like you.
My New Years resolution is to be more assertive if that`s okay with you guys?
A small child called 911 upon seeing a zebra because he thought a horse escaped from jail
I tried yoga and I think my downward dog looked more like winnie the pooh getting stuck in rabbit`s door.
The hardest thing about my juice cleanse is trying to juice Snickers
I could scroll down my Facebook page and write a country song!!
Nobody expects you to post brilliance. Just be yourself, with the occasional intent of bringing shame to your entire family.
OK so i have an idea ............... wait why are you all running away?
I wonder what my future wife is doing right now ... Hopefully modeling.