Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
3 things I will never understand: 1. The meaning of life. 2. The universe. 3. How Spongebob & Patrick made those sounds effects in that box.
word of the day: nincomtard
Before I get busy doing nothing, I am taking a 20 minute break.
A new study says schizophrenia and pot smoking are genetically linked — but don`t worry, another study says you`re just being paranoid.
I`m pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out girls butts.
Whenever there is an awkward silence try whispering, "Did you forget your line?"
The best part of waking up is.....wait, I didn`t think this through entirely.
Nothing embarrasses psychics more than throwing them a surprise birthday party.
So can we just skip to summer now?
Worried that you may have a stalker? Shut up and just be happy someone likes you.
You say mystery bruise, I say drinking badge of honor.
Alarm clocks should come with sounds like “tiny doll feet scampering into the closet” because I am not hitting snooze when I hear that
I always try to learn from the mistakes of other people..... who have taken my advice
I`m pretty sure the phrase "sleep tight" originated in prison...
And remember friends, condoms aren`t always protective....my friend was wearing one and he fell down the stairs