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20 years from now, one of the hardest things our kids will be faced with is finding a screen name which is not already taken!
My anaconda will take whatever it can get at this point.
I do procrastinate more than I should, but it always gives me something to do tomorrow...
Before meeting a hot chick, wish I could talk to the dude who`s sick of her bullsh!t.
Oh you`re in the shower? Here`s the seven worst songs from your playlist. - shuffle mode
I put my phone on Airplane Mode and now I can`t find it...
I am losing Facebook friends at an alarming rate. Whatever it is that I said, is working like a charm.
I bet acting like azzholes on the Internet all day wasn`t where most of us visioned our lives to be right now.
Two things you can always be certain about when it comes to women: 1) They`re always cold. 2) It’s somehow your fault.
The only man worth waiting for is the delivery guy
Unless my horoscope says, "You will dread going to work and will most likely masturbate," then it is a crock of sh*t.
Played hide and seek today. I was winning until the cops let the K9 off of the leash.
Why do fifty percent of marriages end in divorce? Well, I`m guessing it`s because the other fifty percent can`t afford lawyers.
I need to find a woman that loves me for my money....but doesn`t understand math. (<>..,<>)
I hope daylight savings time hasn`t thrown you off your schedule of doing nothing.