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I love screwing with the minds of the foreign tech support guys. "My name is Perry, not Terry. With a P as in Pterodactyl."
I spend 95% of the time out of bed wishing I was back in bed
In today`s world, the key to success is to delete your Whatsapp account!
My advice for pretty much anything that`s broken is "did you try and jiggle it?".
Why I stay slim? I once was forced to pay for two plane tickets, one for a person who wasn`t travelling with me. That`s why.
really vry funny
I don’t like people who can’t make fun of themselves. It just makes more work for me.
The best part about a vacation to England is that my wife won`t need to adjust her driving.
Is it just me, or that sea witch Ursula from the Little Mermaid inspired from a full blown flamboyant drag queen?
Your things are terrific.
It’s called sarcasm, and it confuses stupid people.
“I saw that.” -Karma
Before I lose my phone, end up naked, drunk and/or possibly arrested, I would like to wish you all a Happy Independence Day.
My friend won a trip to China. He´s out there now... trying to win a trip back.
If one door closes and another one opens, seek help your house is haunted.