Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Seems like my body should have better things to do than make nipple hair.
A wireless bra? They weren`t tricky enough, now I need a password?
Just printed out 50 copies of today’s weather forecast to carry around with me today because I’m just not in the mood for small talk.
My favorite iOS7 feature is how it distracts me from the fact that I`m wasting my life poking a glass screen.
when a girl says "whatever" what she really means "I hope you get shot, fall off a bridge, get raped by a shark, and then eaten by it
Find someone you`re good at.
Cinderella is my favorite fairy tale about how foot size is the best way to recognize someone.
Lessons learned from last night: There is no such thing as a goalie in darts
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment when you know that you aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
My goal today is to turn actions into thoughts.
Why would a married man buy a hearing aid?
If you can`t tell the difference between delivery and Digiorno then you`re a f***ing idiot.
i havnt seen any status`s about ninjas lately.... well played ninjas
Played Naked Twister last night and man, did it get RAUNCHY!....I can`t imagine what it would be like with other people.
This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.