Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Things were said. Feelings were hurt. Your car was set on fire. My point is you’re wrong & Raphael isn’t the best Ninja Turtle. Get over it.
If you think you hate me now, wait till I start answering your rhetorical questions.
The best way to scare a man is to use the urinal stall next to him. This works exceptionally well if you are a woman.
Does anyone have the recipe for ice cubes? Asking for a friend.
No one needs a vacation from me more than me.
There was a glorious time, before social media, when you would just lose touch with people.
If you can’t love the one you want, love someone who looks like them and just squint a lot.
People who have more than 10 items in the express line… We see you and we are judging you.
Every so often, I try to fornicate a large word into conversation, even if I’m not sure what it means
Magician: Now I will cut the woman in half. Me: Why turn one problem into two?
i just fell off a 20ft ladder.. good thing I was on the first step.
If money grew on trees, Congress would actually care about the environment.
Ok everyone enough of your "family" time, come back to the internet. We are your real family.
I need a new bad decision.
This ad says: "3 out of 5 smokers die" Apparently the other 2 become immortal.