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A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?
The sun isn`t the only thing that rises in the morning...if you know what I mean ;)
Lazy fact #128540162, You were too lazy to read that number.
I was getting really depressed today but then I realized double cheeseburgers exist
Santa must be the bravest man around. Who else would let a bunch of deer pull them around in a sleigh during hunting season?
I tried stuff once. It was horrible.
Women are fascinated by mythical creatures like unicorns, vampires, and men who are good listeners...
They might as well put "Uhhh..." in front of every item on drive-thru menus.
My apartment is so dirty that I actually lost my last girlfriend to the 5 second rule.
You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
When everything else fails... you always have delusion.
May all of us be as good looking/ beautiful as we look on our FB profile pic..
What do bats eat that makes their sh!t our standard for crazy?
I`m sexy and I know it really is....... your slutty and you blow it.