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No thanks, alcohol free mouthwash, my life is depressing enough.
No matter how busy a guy is, he can always take out a moment from his busy life to just stop and stare at a beautiful girl.
Attention idiots: as you continue to read something clearly addressed to idiots. Idiot.
Imagine this: You`re home alone and you sneeze. Suddenly the phone rings and you answer, then someone whispers `Bless you` and hangs up.
Pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer.....me trying not to drop a child
“True beauty is within” for example opening your fridge.
My life is a constant cycle of waiting until the weekend and then not doing anything when it comes.
Of all the lies I`ve told in my life, "Just kidding" is my favorite.
Touch my food and suffer the consequences.
To make it stand, you wet it. To make it wet, you suck it. To make it stiff, you lick it. To get it in, you push it. Threading a needle isn`t easy.
My parents weren`t exercising all of those nights.
If you want to bribe me food and beer works.
Relationship status: Just kissed my cat and he got up and moved to the other end of the couch.
She lost me at, "I don`t watch football."
Talking bout planets with my 8 yr old. He asked if you can just plow thru Uranus because it`s all gas. I cannot respond maturely.