Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Growing up is when you go from using drugs for fun to using drugs for survival.
I can`t wait for a empty Christmas wrapping paper tube to bonk someone over the head with!
I hate to admit it, but I’ve got a serious drinking problem. I don’t have any more money to buy liquor.
Everything I ever needed to know about structural engineering, I learned from Angry Birds.
That moment when you are having a conversation in your head and you realize you are making faces that go along with the silent conversation.
Suggested movie theater prices: Adults - $9.00, Under 12 - $ 6.00, Under 3 - $249.00
Is running in front of cars some sort of gang initiation for squirrels?
Hey guys,,, Which sounds better: No longer rabid?, Or rabies free since 2003?........ I`m trying to update my e-harmony profile
My family is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you`re gonna get but you can be sure there are gonna be some nuts in there somewhere.
So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn`t for throwing at people who stress you out?
“We don`t lick people!” - Lies adults tell kids
Im so lazy today, I am going to watch fast and furious in slow motion.
Sometimes I buy huge pants and take a picture of myself holding them up just to feel like I lost a ton of weight.
My buddy told me he was going to Beerfest this weekend, I asked him where, he said "any bar I walk into!!!"
Wouldn`t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 mins and come out wrinkle free and 2 sizes smaller...