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My idea of heaven consists of all of the things I’d go to hell for.
How does one get a nice body without moving?
Men look at boobs for the same reason women look at puppies in a cage, we just want to set them free.
keeps getting dirty voicemails from unknown numbers. If it`s you.. Send more
"Being naked isn`t fun" - said no one ever.
Think you`re going crazy? When you get there, look for me and I`ll show you around.
I was an atheist, until I realized I was a sex god.
I can`t fall asleep because I am too excited for Christmas
The leading cause of divorce ? ... marriage
It`s depressing to think how much more Dora the Explorer has seen and done in her life compared to mine.
lf the people in the movies listened to me, they would still be alive.
Show me on the back of your mini van window where your life went wrong.
can´t find Sesame Street on my GPS. Can you tell me how to get there?
My method of going "offline" in FB chat is to just ignore you.
Does anybody know how to disable the autocorrect feature on my wife ?