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*wants to travel the world but has like 3 dollars*
I made a chicken salad today... The little bastard didn`t even eat it.
The most common crossfit injury is a black eye from talking about it too much.
I`ve been having really bad headaches lately. The doctor said they were all in my head.
When your life flashes before your eyes does that include the black outs? That`d be cool. Like your life but with never before seen footage.
I accidentally ran over my neighbour`s cat........... Nine times....... just in case
Nothing good has ever come from answering a call from a blocked phone number.
Waking up an hour early gives you an extra hour to wish you were still in bed.
The rare times my cat approaches me for affection, I run away and hide under the bed so she knows what that feels like.
The worst job to have right about now would be that of a realtor in Ferguson.
If Violets were Orange, poetry would be a lot more challenging.
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole
All through school I assumed they saved the number 1 pencils for the smart kids
You can’t run from your problems forever. Eventually, you’ll have to take a car or a plane to really avoid them.
Trail Mix: M&Ms with obstacles