Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t know what everyone`s complaining about. The economy looks great from my parents` basement.
I`ll tell you what a woman wants. She wants you to drag her to the bedroom, toss her down, and do the dishes and laundry while she takes a nap.
Nobody wants to know your diet. So shut up, eat your lettuce and be sad.
I`m all for the "going green" thing, but I just can`t bring myself to buy toilet paper that says, "100% Recycled."
The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.
Whenever you`re feeling really bad about yourself just remember, there`s people that pay money to exercise.
If Tetris has taught me anything it`s that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear.
Every day I struggle between “I wanna look good naked” and “treat yourself.”
I need more people like me in my life
Idiots are fun, no wonder every village wants one.
Sir, no food allowed in the dressing rooms.` ... what, am I supposed to just guess the pop tart capacity of these cargo shorts before I buy?
I hate driving so much that I even ring for taxis on grand theft auto.
No one should be surprised that so many statuses are about unhappiness and failure. You don’t end up on Facebook by making good life decisions.
A penny for your thoughts, Five bucks if they’re naughty.
Hand sanitizer: the cut finder.