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30 years later and my Cabbage Patch Kid still has no clue that he`s adopted.
Collecting my thoughts… I almost have a whole set! ;)
My New Year`s resolution for 2014 is to do something about my procrastination.
I`ve been knocking for ten minutes. Don`t people answer their bathroom windows anymore?
Dear life, I`ve had enough bullsh!t to last a while. Can we take a little break please.
You can’t choose your family, but you can ignore their phone calls.
Someday, I`ll live in my OWN basement!
Oh no. I thought of a brilliant status to update while taking bath but by the time I got back to my phone I forgot it. This is why I hate taking a bath.
Things that make women emotional- 1) sad movies 2) love stories 3) anything 4) everything
A woman that doesn`t ask for nothing deserves everything
$100 for a dozen red what?! That`s a lot of money for a plant you can’t smoke.
The guy who named the "chimichanga" should be given more authority to name things.
You move into my house, delete all my porn, decorate every wall with rooster pictures, talk incessantly, leave hair everywhere and are too tired for sex?? Sounds great, let`s do it!!
I`m not funny, I`m just kidding u
Porn is the only type of entertainment where "not watching the whole thing" means it was good.