Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I bet the guy made of money in the Gieco commercial doesn`t ever ride his motorcycle on Martin Luther King Blvd in any town.
My favorite Facebook photo of your baby is easily #28,614
Similarities between BRA and BAR 1. Both have similar letters 2. Both are drinking zones 3. When both opened men go crazy "prove me wrong"
Protip: Never look up from your breakfast if you hear the words "gruesome discovery" coming from your TV on the morning news.
Got interrupted downloading the new version of iTunes by a pop up that asked if I wanted to download the even newer version of iTunes.
Phones are getting smarter and thinner. People, not so much.
Always love a woman for her personality. They have like ten so you can choose.
When you msg me @ 9:30am w/ just "Morning," don`t be shocked when I wait till 12:00pm & respond w/ "Noon." Seriously, what did ya expect?
Do you realize that a woman`s "I`ll be ready in five minutes." and a guy`s " I`ll be home in five minutes." are exactly the same?
Decided to cut back on my beer drinking. Fortunately, this martini is helping me through this tough time.
Girlfriend: No, you hang up... Me: (click)
I just found a whip, a mask and handcuffs in my mom’s bedroom. I can’t believe it.. She’s a superhero!
I don’t let my friends do stupid things… ALONE!
I wish people`s voices actually sounded the way they do when their spouse or partner imitates them during an argument.
I’m watching this show on stalkers, still haven’t seen any of you yet.