Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Actually, The quickest way to fix that annoying noise in your car is ... Just open the door and push her out.
Before I wash my socks, I just throw one in the trash.
Nothing says “I don’t take you seriously” like your dog wagging his tail when you are yelling at him.
I took a sexual harassment course this afternoon.... I think I am going to be pretty good at it.
Starting to believe I`m trouble
Facebook is the best place to say whatever you want. If it doesn’t go over well you can just say you were hacked.
You know those people who get all excited and lovey with puppies at pet stores? Same. But I`m in a liquor store.
It`s not their fault, per se, but at some point, Crayola has to be held responsible for continuing to make crayons nostril-width.
Yoga is a great way to meet and embarrass yourself in front of women
My relationship status? Last night, in the elevator, I told a girl she had nice shoelaces.
Internet went down so I had to spend time with my family. They seem like good people.
Happy Fathers Day from your handsomerist and smarterist son
You know its Monday when your left eye wont open and your right eye is twitching.
I think my mailman is stealing my Nigerian lottery checks.
Benefits of dating me: 1. You`re the sane one.