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If you think this status is funny someone you hate will step on a lego.
Whats the difference between a phone number & an opinion? People ask for your phone number.
"I woke up with morning wood. She woke up with morning wouldn`t."
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
How do I like my eggs? ... Umm in a cake.
The problem with the world today is that intelligent people are too smart to have children.
Iām eating just in case I get hungry later
Warning: I just get weirder.
You can`t Febreze bullshit.
You think you`re pretty smart until you have to figure out how to turn on someone elses shower.
If everybody was consistently as determined as they are when they carry all groceries in one trip, this world would be in a better place.
Have you ever been cutting a piece of pager with scissors and worried that you might cut an atom in half and destroy the world?
Take time to reflect upon your day. Think of all the blessings you received, and everything you may be called to testify about :)))
Personally, I think failure should be an option
I have a confession to make... "I want to get back with my ex"...LOL Just Kidding..."I`d rather shit in my hands and clap !"