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I heard someone say their podcast was on "hiatus", guess that sounds better than "my mom took away my laptop".
There is no such thing as bad luck, there is good luck and life!
Dancing in the 70`s: I have absolutely no idea what I am pointing at
Siri, destroy the vehicle in front of me.
Me: Mom…Dad. I’ve decided to live on my own from now on. Parents: Ok, cool. Me: Your luggage is outside.
The overspray from my windshield washer fluid just totaled a smart car.
But what if bygones want to be something else? ;)
FACEBOOK STORY: Add as friend – Approve -> Write something on wall -Intro – Everyday chatting – Ask number phone – Messaging – Calling – Meeting – Express love – Make relationship status – Hangout – Misunderstanding – Fight – Break up – Unfriend – Block !THE END
McDonald`s sponsoring the Olympics is like Jack Daniels sponsoring the prom.
If u think I talk to much, just let me know. We can talk about it!
Being an adult is basically a "choose your own adventure" book, but every choice sounds terrible.
Apparently dyslexia is not a good excuse for driving 53 in a 35.
Just bent over to pick up a beer that rolled out of the fridge and realized yoga is exhausting
That`s it!! I`m never drinking again until tomorrow.
I like to finish other people’s sentences because my version is better.