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whats the difference between a dog and a fox????? six shots
Today: I`m going to be understanding, productive, and nice. WHAT? Stop laughing! I`m serious!
Where do homeless people find all these sharpies?
These last 7 hours at work are always the longest.
One day my fridge will take revenge on me by opening my bedroom door every half hour, staring at me for a few minutes and then leave.
I`ve always pictured myself taking selfies.
If you rearrange the letters of "postmen" they get really pissed off.
Tattoos are an expensive and a painful way to guarantee that the police can make a positive identification
When plastic bags become currency, I will be king.
I`m awesome...just ask me...!!!!
My doctor said I need to drink more water every day, so I have started putting ice cubes in my vodka.
Campers: Nature`s way of feeding mosquitoes.
Wouldn`t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 mins and come out wrinkle free and 2 sizes smaller...
The biggest lie I tell myself is: “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”
is at the park. Unless you’re my boss, in which case, I’m at work.