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Just woke up next to my bed. Not sure if I fell out or didn`t quite make it in.
!that embarrasing moment when you fake a call then a real one comes...!lol.
I don’t repeat gossip, so listen carefully
How many boxes of these Thin Mints do I need to eat before I start seeing results?
I`d like to eat healthy, but we all know what happened that time Eve ate an apple. Best not to risk it.
I`m always on the verge of running three miles, or drinking a bottle of Vodka
The best nicknames are the ones people don’t know they have
"Does this dress make me look fat?"-- Now, what I SHOULD have said was, "No, dear! You are little black dress approved!" but what came out was, "When did your bum move to the front?"
After joining Facebook, my TV became radio.
The only reason I keep my land line is for the eventuality that this is The Matrix.
I wish I could get excited as a redneck drinking cheap beer and watching cars go around in circles for hours.
So, at this point, should we really still be calling them New Kids on the Block?
Men think us women dream of finding the perfect man when really, all we want is to eat anything without getting fat.
I don`t even know why chicks spend so much time and money on their hair when all guys look at is their tits.
I`m tired of hearing about Republicans this and Democrats that. For Christ`s sake people, don`t you realize on July 15th the Twinkie comes back?!?!?!?!