Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s like nobody ever considers the consequences of getting to know me.
Why do men fart more than women? Because women can`t shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
Damn your Hott!...........................Freaking Sun! lmao =P
Simply amazing how one word spoils the whole sentence: I’m getting laid.....off.
Free will is good, but free pizza is better.
When my kids grow up, I`m going to their house to break their stuff, eat all their food, make a huge mess, say I`m bored & then just leave!
People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
You seem like a sweat person. Mind if I lick you to find out?
I’m not shy, I’m just really good out figuring out who is not worth talking to.
My dad always used to say, "The sky`s the limit!" Which is probably why he got fired from his job at NASA.
Seems like I can`t go anywhere in my house without somebody recognizing me.
If you want to see exactly how angry a person can get, tell them to "calm down" when they`re already pissed off.
Husband for sale: 1972 model, white in colour, a bit hard on gas but comes with a spare tire.
I was asked what I would give the woman who has everything? Well…my phone number for a start.
Why don`t they just get Jehovah`s Witnesses to deliver the mail?