Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Can`t wait `til I`m old enough to pretend I can`t hear.
The right man will love you unconditionally, will be loyal, and will always be happy to see you. ... Oh wait, That`s my dog. My dog does that.
In my defense, it was a fantastic idea at 3am...
Your day sucked, huh? I`m sure Facebook would love to hear about it.
"He sure seems like a nice young man" is Grandma-speak for "I`d totally hit that."
My pants are 75% off.
A three hour long movie adaptation of pages 74 and 75 of the Hobbit? Friggin count me in.
I`m uncomfortable sharing my feelings with you but completely comfortable standing next to a complete stranger while urinating. - Guys.
I want to sleep tighter
WebMD auto dialed an ambulance when I entered my chicken nugget intake.
It`s hard to focus on a home workout when your home also contains a refrigerator full of delicious food
This is the only way I know how to correctly use a semi-colon ;)
doesn`t need any help being bad but u can come along for the ride if your up for it.
Dear iPhone, Please stop changing my rude words into nice ones. You piece of shut.
My dog is eating. I`m sitting next to her, staring intently at her, making her obviously uncomfortable. Yeah, how`s THAT feel, mutt?