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Hey movie villains - make a bomb where the wires are all one color.
Feeling bored? Go to a clothing store and put "one size fits all" stickers on the bras.
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels. LOL. But on the up side, it is fun!! ;)
Well I didn`t know that minding my own business becomes part of your business to mind
All I`m saying is you don`t see many neck tattoos on Jeopardy.
The Zoo is a safe place to fart.
Any time you feel lonely, remember, its your fault nobody likes you.
I wish I can start a new diet, but there`s a bunch of old diets I haven`t finish.
My house is not messy. Those are just obstacles I`ve put in place for burglars.
One small step for man one giant step for a really small man
Home: The place where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
The parents with the ugliest babies take and post the most pictures.
my girlfriend asked me to go to the store and pick her up 50 shades of grey, she was pretty mad when i brought home 50 tubes of lipstick.
There’s no such thing as being ready for vacation to be over.
You`re right. I don`t have a clue. I`ve never had a clue. It`s part of my charm and it seems to be working for me.