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They say that nobody is perfect, then they say that practice makes perfect. I wish they`d make up their mind
The only yoga stretch I’ve perfected is the yawn.
Homeless people should make more creative signs like "I bet you can`t hit me with a quarter...b!tch!"
The problem with this generation boils down to this one thing: Their cartoons suck.
I came home from the gym today staggering and sweating after pushing my body to the limit ... And all I did was sign up.
I still dunno why they say cats have 9 lives. My cat only eats & sleeps all day long. It has no life at all!
You are not a "Food Blogger", you`re a "Fat a$$ with a laptop"
If there’s one thing that I’ve learned it’s, that I should have learned way more than one thing.
I can tell by your boobs that you`ve never seen a bar tab.
Though we made many advancements in society, sadly, pimpin’ STILL isn’t easy.
Relationships are like just-out-of-the-oven pizza. You know it`s going to burn you, but it looks so good and maybe this time it won`t?
And today I learned to never ask a woman how she dye`s her roots black.
Adam didn`t take any crap from Eve. He wore the plants in that relationship
Exactly when in American history did Americans stop having British accents?
Hell is having a married couple tell you a story at the same time.