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They should turn off Netflix at 1:00am for people with jobs and no willpower....bastards
I need me a pretty girl with an ugly girl personality
I do whatever the little voices tell me to do.
I just noticed me saying "LOL" everytime I`m laughing = facebook addict...lmao :)
Some people are training as complainers like it is a competitive sport
Crazy? ... My therapist does say I should quit talking to myself.
It`s all fun and games until you find out she`s a psychotic bitch...
Today please just pretend I wrote something hilarious, click like, and move on down the news feed.
Having kids is like being at a press conference: "No, you can`t put the dog in the washer - next question." "No, you can`t really fly -next"
I was in NYC and a black guy asked me if the Yankees won to which I replied, "Yeah, man, you`re free."
The Mrs said she we need a "conversation piece" in the living room. I`m thinking taco cart...
I`m currently writing a book about my love of dogs and gardening. It`s called b*tches and hoes
When I see a girl with too much makeup, I just want to use my finger to write "Wash Me" on her face.
I’m not implying you’re stupid. I’m saying it outright. Here, I wrote it in crayon to help you understand.
Do you ever get the feeling that you`re being watched? Because if it`s bothering you, I`ll stop.