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7 billion people on the planet and I can only tolerate maybe 10.
I gotta ask you a sirius question....do you know the muffen man
There is a method to my madness....and as soon as I figure out what the hell it is, I’m gonna be friggin’ unstoppable.....
My friends think I never listen to their opinions... like I give a sh*t what they think.
It’s not that I don’t care what you’re saying; I was just thinking about food.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
A dozen roses: $12, a box of chocolates: $10, a Happy Valentines Day card: $2, still having $24 dollars because you`re single: priceless!
The problem with this generation boils down to this one thing: Their cartoons suck.
Just saw a coyote next to the highway. I hope this tunnel ahead isn`t just painted on.
Blood moon, shooting stars....I gotta move to a safer galaxy
My life has a great cast, but I can’t really figure out the plot.
In the interest of improving the workplace, my company has put up signs that say: CAUTION. OPEN DOORS SLOWLY ... My best time so far is 7 min.
I`m old enough to remember when having a long cord on the home phone was privacy.
How can they have a Facebook group called Facebookers Anonymous? That`s like trying to hold a successful AA meeting in a bar.
Showed the kids here how to eat corn-on-the-cob typewriter style........ Now explaining typewriter.