Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I could turn invisible I’d go to Paris and beat up a performing street mime… The amount of applause he’d get would be amazing!
I may contain scenes of violence, nudity and foul language.
Some people are more confused then a chameleon in a packet of Skittles.
My Doctor says I`m a serious alcoholic, but I think I`m more of a funny alcoholic.
Whenever I see a really hot girl with an ugly guy, I think "lottery winner".
if ever you need NOTHING, im here for you.
I never get caught because I`ve watched all 27 seasons of Cops..
If you pull the pin out of a grenade, can you put it back in and let go? I`m going to need a quick answer for this....
The Three Up`s in life: 1. Show 2. Keep 3. Shut
Talk to your kids about drugs. Maybe they have better connections than you.
My insomnia is getting worse. I was wide awake all day at work yesterday.
I thought "twerking" was short for "networking". I really embarrassed myself while giving that presentation to the company`s Board of Directors.
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering.
Calories? I think you mean delicious points!
Throw a stranger a surprise party by putting confetti inside their closed umbrella when they’re not looking!