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Shouldn`t there have been at least one scene in The Karate Kid where Daniel`s mom was like "Why are you constantly in that old man`s shed?"
I`m running out of people I can tolerate!
Hey pigs, stop trying to swallow entire apples. You keep dying!
You know what tastes better than one taco? Two tacos!
Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
You call it free samples, I call it a free all you can eat buffet.
Not sure what my spirit animal is, but I am sure it has rabies
Yes, I talk to myself...Yes, I answer myself and Yes, I argue with myself....and the makeup sex is awesome.
If I were to give up Sarcasm, that would leave interpretive dance as my only means of communication.
FYI: You can buy wedding cake even if there`s no wedding, those suckers don`t even check
Redneck WORD OF THE DAY: WATER My girlfriend gets mad and I don`t even know water problem is!
My last request: At my funeral, someone come up at the end and padlock my coffin shut, just to freak everyone out.
If you don`t take 500 selfies a day, do you even love yourself?
I broke a mirror now I`m looking at 7 years bad luck... but my lawyer thinks he can get me off with 3