Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Happy people don`t take long showers.
It`s true alcohol kills people, but how many are born because of it?
Pepper spray: The perfect way to end an annoyingly long conversation.
"This place needs to be sticky, wall to wall." - Every 2 year old with a Popsicle.
How many facebook friends do you have that if they posted "I`m depressed and on the edge", your first thought would be to poke them?
I wonder who the first person was to look at a beehive and think, "those bastards are hiding something delicious in there, I know it!"
There`s no mirrors in this self checkout?!?
You’re really not as bad as people say. You’re much, much worse.
Monday :`( Tuesday :-( Wednesday :- Thursday :-/ Friday :-| Saturday :-) Sunday B-)
If it`s any consolation, your Doppelganger is probably having a really awesome day.
Words and phrases I hope do not appear in my obituary: "Skeletal remains", "Dumpster", "Beyond recognition", "Decapitated", "Dental records", "Shallow grave", "Strewn", and "Suicide by Cop."
take it easy and if it is easy take it home
I bet if Jesus had turned water into Vodka. The Bible would`ve been a lot more interesting.
In your face with a can of mace, make you cry all over the place!!
I can’t remember ever being told I’m a bad listener