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Flat screens are nice and all, but they`ll never compare to the television/record player/ liquor cabinet combo extravaganza we had as kids.
My death bed confession is going to be epic!
I didn`t text you. Vodka texted you.
The parent-teacher conference is going great. They have no idea I’m not the teacher.
I don`t have mistletoe this year, so we`ll just have to kiss under the influence.
Same sex marriage? Heck, I know couples who would be happy with a SOME sex marriage
I imagine a world where whining on Facebook is illegal.
Guys write songs about girls they love. Girls write songs about guys they have broken up with
I`m a little stumped by this beer to pee volume ratio.
Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn`t be allowed to talk
My 5yr old learned how to whistle if anyone’s looking for a new 5yr old.
is it rude to throw a breath-mint in someone`s mouth while they are talking?
Ladies, I hate to break this to you, but curves and rolls are not the same thing.
Where is the button to restart summer?
Sometimes I have to go outside to get signal on my phone for Facebook so yes, you could describe me as "outdoorsy."