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The awkward moment when you’re running and your boobs are bouncing …. and you’re a guy.
Not sure what`s longer. A microwave minute or a treadmill minute.
A lot of you lose your sh!t and have some pretty epic, public meltdowns. I just wanted to say thanks.
If you`re reading this then I`m wishing you a Happy New Year! Stay safe, have fun, and remember, I like New Years gifts too!
I don`t hit the "Like" button on my own statuses because I am self-centered, it`s just that I amaze myself sometimes and I want to show my appreciation!!!!!!
I found $40 in my jeans. The kid in me says "Buy dart guns and candy", but the adult in me says "Buy vodka, dart guns and candy".
Which emoticon indicates the desire to cover someone with fire ants?
My girlfriend JUST spent the ENTIRE day arguing that she isn`t stubborn.. :|
Is it the S or the C that`s silent in scent?
The party`s not over `till you smile for the mugshot
Flight 370, proven harder to find then the G spot :-/
Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I`d like to read a medication bottle and see "May cause extreme sexiness."
If Monday was a movie, it would be very long and boring.
Jail is just the government`s way of sending you to your room.
I hate to rub it in, but lotion doesn`t really work otherwise.