Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Spread happiness by smiling at a stranger today...or flash them your boobs. Strangers love boobs!
I believe pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens
Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? I still have to get up and take the disc out. It`s like having a remote to open the fridge.
I`ve heard of women that aren`t crazy ... but I`ve also heard of unicorns, so whatever...
Just got a new phone. Pretty pissed all my contacts were not lost.
Sometimes when I wave my hands in the air, I actually do care.
I don`t understand fat homeless people. What are you eating? Broken hopes and dreams?
Wow, I thought “flash mob” meant something completely different. Can someone come bail me out?
Girl Scout cookie season is scientifically timed to occur just as people are giving up on their New Year`s resolutions.
It`s impossible to get a parking ticket if you don`t have windshield wipers.
Walmart: Because where else in the world can you pay $50 to have your oil changed by someone with a GED, find a sized 46H bra, or run the risk of being filmed live on location with the men and women of law enforcement on your way out the door.
Whenever I delete an App on my iPhone, The shaking icons make me feel like they`re all panicked over who`s getting deleted.
If I say sorry I missed you, better look really close the next time you cross the street, I don`t miss twice.
Sometimes I just go on Facebook to see who has been dumped and who is pregnant.
When I say "Have a nice day." Remember the f*cker on the end is silent.