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If you figure me out I want an explanation.
To those that manufacture and market tight, thin yoga pants to fit college girls; I love you man.
Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza
I think that there are two things that we can all agree on: Boobs.
Iām giving co-workers the silent treatment by sending them blank emails.
I love nostalgia. Not sure what it means, but it reminds me of magical words from my childhood.
Roughly 82% of my day is trying to decide what my next meal will be
If you love someone , let them go. If they dont come back, call them up later when your drunk and see wtf is going on.
If you don`t like me now, you won`t like me later because I just get worse.
Procrastination is a dish best served eventually.
If the Internet was never invented... what would we all be doing now?
My phone tried to autocorrect "f*cking" to "f*ck king," and I was like hell yeah I am.
I like to go to the bathroom with the door open, because it keeps other people from getting onto the elevator with me.
Tieam... problem solved
Guy on plane: So, where are you going? Me: I`m guessing it`s the same place you`re going.