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The sexiest fantasy in 50 Shades Of Grey is the bit where she gets a job in journalism without having to do years of unpaid work experience.
If you don`t pay your exorcist do you get repossessed?
Don`t ask me stupid questions and I won`t hurt your stupid feelings.
I mean really though...Why wash cups when you can just drink out of the jug?
All I`m saying is you don`t see many neck tattoos on Jeopardy.
I`m just gonna let my pillow decide my hairstyle for tomorrow.
Imagine all the amazing places you could take naps if you were Superman.
Plot twist: name your pets after passwords.
Sneezing is like using sonar to find polite people.
Is a bath relaxing for Michael Phelps, or does he just feel like he is at work?
People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world.
I`m not lazy... I`m in energy saving mode.
Several decisions I make on a daily basis hinge upon the question "illegal or just frowned upon?"
what do you mean booze ain`t food!?
be smart, pretend to be stupid!