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I like to friend friends of friends then unfriend the first friend to freak out the friend of a friend.
Just used a full size twix bar to stir my coffee.
At any given time, my wallet is worth more than it’s contents.
Note to self: When sending Valentines messages don`t use group text next year.
I solve my problems by blatantly ignoring them and going on the internet.
I miss times when I was working at the zoo... my boss fired me just because I left the lion`s gate open.... I mean who would steal a lion
You`d think that with as much time as women spend looking at their butt in the mirror they would be able to parallel park.
You know what would make my cubicle super cute? Fire.
I know exactly how a bomb technician feels when I try to open a cup of cherry mixed fruit without the juice spraying out.
My bank lets me send a text message and it´ll text back with my balance. It´s a cool feature but I didn´t think the LOL was necessary.
If you like counting to three, you are going to love parenting.
Some of us live thousands of miles away from the majority of our relatives and can`t be with them for the holidays. But don`t be jealous.
Here`s an idea...Duck Dynasty Chia Pets
roses are red,violets are blue,god made me beautiful, what happen to you..
I`m not ignoring your calls, I just love my ringtone.