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A person who says they will never lie to you is probably lying already.
Has anyone ever seen a gorilla in the mist? Some of the local drivers struggle to see my car in perfect daylight conditions, so I doubt that they`d spot a Gorilla in limited visibility!!!!!
I`ve polished the mirror in the bathroom so much, you can see your face in it.
Girls don`t dress for guys, they dress for themselves. If they dressed for guys they would be naked all the time
Knowing sign language is a handy skill when it comes to identifying schizophrenics at famous people`s funerals.
I believe in looking out for number one. Especially if the dog is not house trained.
Never say "piece of cake!" to me. Unless there is, indeed, a piece of cake involved.
I am not cut out for the CIA. All the opposing side would have to do is tickle me and I’d spill all our nation’s secrets.
That`s a lot of selfies for someone that claims to be emotionally stable
Have the people who designed wine glasses ever washed dishes in their lives?
Babies are so cute because none of them are mine.
Been reading up on the thesaurus lately because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.
I`m saving all my good posts for when I can think of some.
I put the whiskey in another room ... Exercise regimen established.
Keep up the good work, people who make free porn available.