Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth
People tend to get angry when you treat them the same way they treat you.
Internet dating: the odds are good but the goods are odd.
I told everyone at work that I have a twin so that when I see them in public I won`t have to talk to them.
"Trust your gut" is terrible advice. How can I put trust in something that tells me to eat an entire pizza when I get drunk?
I feel like landlords who don’t allow dogs but DO allow children, don’t know very much about children.
My blind neighbor sure does take his dog on a lot of walks...
There needs to be more “damn it I missed my exit” exits.
First thing I do in the morning: Look at the clock and hope I have more time to sleep.
*Knocks on door* Hey open up. You didn`t reply to my last 43 inbox messages & then you updated about a guy who keeps annoying you. You need help?
Did a 5k today. Except it was how many calories I had at lunch.
I get very competitive at "All You Can Eat Buffets."
Sometimes people don`t notice or appreciate the things we do for them, until we stop doing it. Then they are like, “Why don’t you stalk me anymore”
believes saying "hi" with a big smile can brighten anyone´s day ... even those who give you the middle finger for cutting them off in traffic.
Just bought a car with the money from my swear jar.