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For years I thought hitchhikers were just complimenting my driving.
Am I the only one who runs up on happy couples and yells, "How could you do this to me" and then runs off crying?
So,do people in England speaks American now that people in America speaks English?
Great. Trapped in an elevator with a dead body again. Well not exactly dead yet but he`s making noises with his gum
Chaos, panic, & disorder – my work here is done.
I`m working out my budget and, provided I don`t live past Tuesday, I can retire relatively comfortably!!!
That`s disgusting! (unless you`re up for it?)
If you can’t be a good example, then you’l just have to serve as a horrible warning
The only thing us men clean at home is our browser history
Maybe this comment wont be important for you guys here. Some of you will ignore it, most of yall wont bother to read and it`ll go unnoticed along with some others. maybe I`ll be criticized for this but I just want to let yall know I`m selling potatoes
"We`d be rich if you just said one f*cking word" - me, drunk, talking to my dog
I just got a piece of mail that says "open immediately" but I`m gonna wait a few minutes.
My sister borrowed my favorite shirt without asking again, so I changed her Facebook profile picture to a positive Clearblue pregnancy test.
Due to political correctness issues, "Krazy Glue" will now be known as "Mental Disorder Glue."
You haven`t truly tested your patience yet until you get stuck behind an undecided person at a Redbox kiosk.