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Starting to believe I`m trouble
Remember if you ask me to put sun lotion on your back, I am definitely drawing something dirty while I`m back there.
keep scrolling… it gets better lol
Let me be honest, I dont even walk a mile in my own shoes.
Helping my kid study for her geology exam, and apparently `hard` `classic` and `punk` are not the 3 different types of rock.
The best part about being a pathological liar is flying my helicopter to my private island.
Ghetto word of the day: "Bishop", My girlfriend fell down, So I picked that bishop.
Looks don’t matter to me if you’re attractive.
Secret Web Cam Test: Please nod your head yes if you can read this.
If you`re not the lead dog, the scenery never changes!
The only thing instant glue sticks to instantly is fingers.
Friday Night Inspirational Message: You miss 100% of the shots you don`t drink.
Went by the bank today and the female teller was flirting with me which was weird considering she saw my account balance.
If you catch me doing a selfie at work, at least offer to take the pic for me.
This isn`t a bakery. We don`t sugarcoat sh!t