Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Mosquito (noun) - Mother Nature`s way of getting you to slap yourself.
In a weird twist,,, The longer I stay at home,,, The more homeless I look.
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
Turns out I`m ambidextrous at yet another sport! And I even scored a bingo twice. Left-handed!
I hate in video games how penguins always use their ability to slide on their stomachs for evil
Dating a single mother is like pressing continue on some one elses saved game
A simpler, more believable theory is that all the dinosaurs got married and just quit having sex all together.
From now on, I will be replacing the word `sh*t` with `sugar` in my facebook statuses, so that I don`t come across as being so f*cking vulgar all the time.
They should paint the bottom of swimming pools with satellite photos so it feels like you’re flying.
I read Facebook for the pictures.
Tried cleaning the house to the A-Team theme and ended up building a tank. So close.
Life is hard ... It`s harder if you`re stupid.
If you expect the world to be fair with you because you are fair with them....its like expecting a lion not to eat you because you don`t eat lion.
OK. So I took the road less traveled. Now where the hell am I?
Of course I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.