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I miss that feeling you`d get at the video store when you discovered the movie you wanted to rent was available.
Best pickup line : wanna get pizza?
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She is nine-seven now, and we don`t know where they hell she is.
If anyone could do it, it wouldn`t be called PROcrastination.
Seems like you must have been pretty stupid to get caught for murder in the 1800s
Never squat with your spurs on
My phone just filmed a 6 hour documentary about life inside my pocket
I work so hard for my gta V character to have a better life
Talking to me this morning is like trying to dribble a ball with not enough air in it.
Today I sent out a text saying, “Hey, I lost my phone, will you call it?” 12 people called me…I need smarter friends.
So you have 820 friends on Facebook and yet no one was around to take your picture when you decided to use the mirror for a good shot?
Highways need 4 lanes per side - A NASCAR wannabe lane, a normal driver lane, an old people who drive 40 in a 70 lane & a "where in the hell am I?" lane.
Never make an arm wrestle bet with a man who has been single for longer than 6 months.
Being all talk and no action sounds relaxing.
I like staying up insanely late but I also like getting 12 hours of sleep. See my dilemma?