Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My iPhone autocorrected "wish you were here" to "wish you were beer" ...I sent it anyways.
I used to be able to stay out much later than this. I find I just can’t these days. My phone battery just doesn’t have the stamina any more.
As I looked at my naked body in the mirror, I thought to myself: "I`m going to get thrown out of this home depot in a minute."
Who cares, WTF, OMG, so inappropriate, HOLY HELL ! Good LORD, not another selfie...WHOA NELLIE, NO, NO, and HELL NO!!! Me before unfriending someone.
If today were a fish, I`d throw it back.
Online personality tests are pretty self-explanatory… If you’re taking the test, chances are you don`t have one.
You’ll never be as young as you are now.
Jack and Jill Went up the hill To have a little fun. Jill, the dill, Forgot her pill, And now they have a son.
No, I did not forget my password. I distinctly remember it being 8 asterisks.
I hate it when I open Facebook and miss a week of work.
Keep your friends close and your enemies tied to a train track.
From now on when I accept a friend request I`ll just write on their wall: You belong to me now.
My ex-wifes facebook status said "I`m depressed and on the edge"... So I poked her!
Netflix basically has every movie, except for the ones I actually want to watch.
In the word "scent" is it the s that is silent or the c?