Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Better pound all these beers so I can get the bottles in the bin for recycling day.
Of course your opinion matters. Just not to me.
BEST PICK UP LINE: You would probably sleep better tonight if we had sex.
When it comes to bug protection, you just can`t beat "OFF!".
I`m sorry I hurt your feelings. When I called you stupid, I really thought you already knew..
Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the mask store first and asked a few questions.
if its got tits you will get nothing but trouble !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
According to the U.S. Census Bureau: 190,374 people are having sex right now, 212,130 are kissing, and 1 poor person is reading this post. You hang in there!
Remember…it’s only embarrassing if you care what people think.
If you use more toilet paper to wipe the tears out of your eyes then wip your bum in the morning...the food was too hot the night before
Made some terrible life choices the last few years. Just kidding. I`m married and not allowed to make decisions.
Beach Rule #17: Never ask anyone under the age of 35 if they`ve seen your shuttlecock
Being normal is boring.
Driving isn`t even in the top 5 things I`m thinking about when I`m driving.
So apparently airport security doesn`t like it when you call shotgun before boarding a plane.