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What I lack in height, I make up for in kitchen counter climbing ability.
I always knew that one day I`d end up face-down in the gutter. I just didn`t expect everyone to keep on bowling...
They say you`re not supposed to go to the grocery store when you`re hungry. It`s been several days now, what should I do?
I wonder if the clouds ever look down on us and say "Hey look! ...that one`s shaped like an idiot!"?
Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I`m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Women who say the quickest way to a man`s heart is through his stomach, have not seen his browser history.
Sobriety and I have agreed to see other people today
Batman had the bat signal. If you need to get my attention, hold a Roast Beef Sandwich over a floor lamp and aim it at my apartment.
Depression is wanting to lay down and realizing that you are already laying down.
Pro tip: “Hold my drink” is not a proper response to “License and registration, please.” … apparently.
A friend of mine told me i have to update my self and I asked my self : does he mean there can be a latest version of me?
So far this is the oldest I`ve ever been.
Home is where the pants aren’t.
gua suka sama kamu
Yesterday I saw something that reminded me of you. I almost stepped in it!