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Don`t be afraid to laugh at yourself you could be missing out on the joke of the century.
A human fart can be louder than a trombone. I discovered that at my daughter`s school concert.
Redneck Word : debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate
Note to Denver Broncos: Marijuana is NOT a performance enhancing drug!
How do you know you`re old? ... Check your glove box for paper maps ...
I put my phone on airplane mode, and it dragged me out of my seat.
Someone once said that I should always treat other people how I would like to be treated. Now I`m facing sexual harassment charges.
I celebrate 4/20 on January 5th, because I know how to reduce fractions unlik the rest of you morons.
If you`re going to be stupid, don`t do it on Facebook.
So I met an Egyptian, they walk just like us.
Every time I start to feel happy I remember the shingles virus is already inside me.
Don`t mistake my middle finger as an offer.
I have a black belt in leather
If Monday was a movie, it would be very long and boring.
I just witnessed a co worker eat a cupcake with no frosting ... What kind of devil worshiping nonsense is this?