Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity makes for a better legal defense.
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth
I can`t afford Disney World so we go to the biggest hill on my street and my kids wait an hour before I roll them down in my office chair.
You`d think my neighbors could have the decency to ignore me back.
The recipe said "prick with a fork,",,,, but enough about me.
I want to be something scary for Halloween so I am going as a positive pregnancy test......
I wonder what Facebook employees do at work to waste time.
And now it`s too hot outside to take down the Christmas lights
It just occurred to me that you could substitute Miranda rights for wedding vows. Verbatim.
I hope these environmentally friendly toilets save at least 3x the water because that’s how many times I need to flush.
Spent $50 on E-bay to enlarge my happy place. The creep sent me a magnifying glass.
Things I do everyday: 1.Get up 2.Survive 3.Go back to bed
Hey,,,, I said I`d be there in 10 minutes... Quit calling me every half hour.
My coffee was so hot this morning it came along with an ugly friend.
My neighbor put the box his fridge came in on the curb for trash pickup. Guess who has a new fort!