Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Everyone is gifted. But not everyone opens their present.
Why is maple syrup so expensive?.. It grows on trees doesn`t it?
I really hate it when people need constant re-assurance. You know what I mean?
Today I met one of those people on the bus that gets all pissed off when you put your finger in their mouth when they yawn.
My life coach just benched me.
My neighbors wifi isn`t working. Do you think they are aware and are trying to fix it, or should I go let them know?
I named my dog "5 Miles" so I can tell people, "I walk 5 Miles every day"
Dating Tip: If she hasn`t kissed you by the third date, she`s there for the food.
Take me seriously at your own risk.
My laptop has a Miley Virus. It`s stopped twerking.
I always carry a jellyfish in case I need to pee on someone.
my girlfriend asked me to go to the store and pick her up 50 shades of grey, she was pretty mad when i brought home 50 tubes of lipstick.
Me: I`m gonna lose weight. Me: I`m gonna exercise every day. Me: I`m gonna go on a diet and stick to it. Me: Is that cake?
A girl who lives hundreds of miles away texting you “I’m drunk” is like a lasagna texting you from Italy saying “I’m delicious”
I saw a guy walking 4 dogs this morning and thought, Wow!.. That guy must be really blind.