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Almost time for my nightly foursome......... Me, my bed, my pillow and my blanket! What the hell were YOU thinkin` you perv!!!!!!
If you’re gonna flip out on your Facebook, don’t delete it all the next day. Some of us still want to share your meltdown with our friends.
Redneck Word : debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate
Hey, Dude who flips me off for honking at him in the parking lot, your groceries are on top of your car.
When I go into a bar I shout out "YOU CHEATING WHORE!!!!" Whoever turns around is who I`m buying drinks for.
Roses are red vilouts are blue your moms beautiful what happened to you!
The 3 fastest means of communication: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.
Never judge a book by it`s movie.
Never call me creepy. You`re the only one that doesn`t even know we`re engaged.
If one goes to online college, do they have to haze them self?
Just found out I`m pregnant. At least that`s what this expectant mother sign for my parking spot says.
Whenever my son questions my knowledge on any subject, I just remind him that I`m older than the Internet.
I was on the treadmill for 20 minutes this morning. Tomorrow I might even turn it on, but let’s not rush into things.
You can always tell a lot about a woman the way she pours gasoline around your car.
It’s not what you wear; it’s how you take it off.