Daily Silly Status

I love you with all my thighs. I would say my heart, but my thighs are much bigger.

I just watched a puppy do something really cute. It was like a real life YouTube video.

JOKE OF THE YEAR: Two women were sitting quietly together, minding their own business.

Whoever figured out that you can make cake in a mug in under a minute was probably really going through some sh!t.

My new years resolution is to try to actually finish someth

If you check Page 4, Paragraph 16, Subsection (d), right after the section on Video Game usage, but before the Book Report Procrastination provision and the No Face Piercings, Ever Amendment , you will that see that I am, in fact, and I quote: "the boss of you."

I regret nothing but mostly because I can`t remember most of the stuff I should probably regret

How did the inventor of the clock know what time it was?

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I`m totally flexible

Women have closets full of `I have nothing to wear.`

Nothing gets me motivated for 10-15 seconds like a good inspirational quote.

If you want to keep a secret from me, put it inside a Facebook event invitation.

I hate being bipolar, it`s great .

Did you know you can go to any gym without having to announce it on Facebook?

I automatically assume you`re fat if your Facebook picture is a car