Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A woman is quick to reject a man that lives with his mother, but will accept a man that lives with his wife.
Remember that there’s always someone cooler, smarter, stronger or prettier than you. That would be me.
Ah Friday...my second favorite "F" word!
Irish Handcuffs: Holding a beer in each hand.
I failed the emergency broadcast test. My apologies to all the employees I shoved to the ground while screaming
I don`t think the lady who just shushed a baby in the library knows how babies work
Job interview `What is your biggest weakness?` `Honesty` `I don`t think honesty is a weakness` `I don`t give a flying *#(@ what you think!`
This morning I jogged for 30 swear words.
Just bought two donuts without sprinkles...Diets are hard!
LIKE if you hide your favorite food from your family
you know hes a keeper when you know his facebook login and password!
I`d be much more attracted to you if you were much more attractive.
If I was a Chinese millionaire I would change my name to Cha Ching.
80% of my life is pulling percentages out of thin air and stating them as facts...
Days that I don’t have to care about my appearance are my favorite days.