Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When I was younger, it was wine, women & song. Now I am older, it`s beer, the old lady & TV!
Everything happens for a reason. That`s why I drink to everything!
Why is it called "reading a book" and not paper view?
I got in touch with my feminine side today... I made myself a sandwich.
Its ironic how the colors Red, White and Blue represent freedom... until they are flashing behind your back.
When life gives you melons, wear a low cut top.
Roses are Red Violets are Blue, If I had a brick, I`d throw it at you.
It`s always awkward the first time you hold hands with someone because they usually want to know who you are and why you just grabbed them.
I hear lots of doctors are prescribing medical marijuana for arthritis. Given that arthritis is "inflammation of the joints", it`s fighting fire with fire!
My therapist says I am too preoccupied by vengeance.... We`ll see about that.
Sometimes it’s just better to buy new Tupperware than to risk opening the leftovers.
Went to a nudest camp once and all I could think was.. these are the people you see dressed in Wal-Mart that you don`t want to see naked.
I`m starting to think that Dr. Dre isn`t a real doctor after all...
Here, take my hand. Now slap yourself with it.
Some people come into your life as blessings, others come into your life as lessons.