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You don`t see faith healers working in hospitals, just like you don`t see psychics winning the lottery every week.
FYI : My post aren`t directed at anyone in particular...so should anyone be offended by them, I say if the shoe fits ... Wear It!!!!!
Some days your the bug; some days your the windshield.
Yesterday I jokingly asked my wife what she was burning for dinner. Turns out it was all my personal belongings.
Be friend with stupid people.., feel like genius all the time
If I was a Jedi there is a 100% chance that I would use the Force inappropriately.
Just farted in 3 different languages! Thanks, Rosetta Stone!
Woke up this morning and the alarm clock was laughing at me....then I realized it was upside down and the time was 7:07
i wish i could sleep ... but my damn A.D.D. kicks in and basically 1 sheep, 2 sheep, cow, turtle, duck, Ol McDonald had a farm, HEEEY Macerena.
Yes I walked away mid-conversation. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in
You know what`s the best part about waking up early? Nothing, it sucks!
Well, it`s almost the end of the year. No point in trying to become a good person this late in the game.
PRO TIP: If you walk around the mall hitting kids in the face with the shopping bags, your wife won`t make you carry them.
Happy Halloween… may all of your skeletons stay in the closet where they belong!
If you can`t handle me at my worst I completely understand, because I can`t either.