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Any psycho girls wanna hang out? Just text me like 5000 times and let me know.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn`t hire stupid people......
I`m all over that like a fat kid on a Smarty
Some people post because they need attention and validation. Not me. (Thanks for reading this, the `Like` button is below)
Just quit my job so I can spend more quality time giving out candy crush extra lives.
The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts while the stupid ones are full of confidence.
This "NORMAL" you speak of, doesn`t sound fun at all.
Relationships are like yard sales. They look good from a distance, but once you get there it`s just a bunch of sh!t you don`t really need.
Some people just lack the ability to laugh at themselves. That`s where I come in.
Damn, it`s like these people have never seen anyone bring a flask to the gym before.
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
Remember, I`m always here if you need shoulders for your ankles to lie on.
Good morning friends … Wait … what the hell m I doing up this early?
Sometimes the problem with reality is the lack of background music.
Curling irons have a warning tag that says “For External Use Only.” Which of you sick mofos made that necessary?